October 22, 2009

My Judging Format

Well, I'm in a rather productive mood, so I'm just going to get started on my first piece of actual content right away rather than wait for the mood to pass like a raunchy fart. One of the things I wanted to do with this blog was review video games, because I'd love it if I became big enough that the companies would start sending me them just for the privilege of being reviewed by me. Yeah, that's going to happen.

Anyways, I figure I'm going to need some kind of objective system, so here we go. Keep in mind that this is subject to change, as I am literally making this up as I go along. Without further ado, I present the APIFO rating system.

Appearance - A general catch-all for graphics, music, voice acting, and other direct sensory inputs. I figure that graphics and sound are so closely tied together that if one sucks, the other probably will, too. Same goes for if they're quite good.

Presentation - Atmosphere and experience. This differs from "Appearance" because, while a game can be quite visually appealing, if it's applied poorly... It's comparable to the difference between having a large vocabulary, and being a good public speaker. Or the difference between Intelligence and Wisdom, for my fellow D&D nerds out there.

Interface - Ah, here we go. You'll notice a lot of the categories so far are combinations of multiple related factors, and this one is no exception. Controls, menus, set-up, this one could also be described as "Ease of use".

Fun Factor - The big one, the final exam that makes up 90% of your grade, the last quarter, fun. This section feels a little redundant, because a game being fun should be the forefront of playing it, but that doesn't always seem to be the case.

Overall - This is not an average of the other scores, rather, it's just my final opinion on the game. TL;DR, it's the TL;DR score.

All five categories will be rated on a scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being the best, and given an accompanying letter grade and some commentary for a bit more detail. The scale breaks down as such:

5/5; A+ to A- - Superb! Very few, if any problems, this is what all games should strive for. A 5 in Overall is a whole-hearted recommendation of the game to anyone even vaguely interested in the genre.

4/5; B+ to B- - Well done. Minor, but noticeable problems, or good, if not mind-blowing performance, though this is in no way an insult. If a game gets a 4 Overall, you could do better, but you could also do a lot worse.

3/5; C+ to C- - Meh. Not bad, per se, just run of the mill. If you need something to kill a few more hours, you could rent one of these, or buy it if you're a really big fan.

2/5; D+ to D- - Oof... Definitely could be better. Rampant bugs, choppy framerate, generic music, mediocre experience, at best. Maybe a rental. Maybe.

1/5; F - Crap. Shit. Shovelware. An aneurysm with box art. Conceivably a deal-breaker if it's surrounded by otherwise good scores. For masochists and the morbidly curious only.

Insert witty closer here.

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